Love and Relationship

As I have studied of Ephesians 5:1-7, I noticed a certain theme that each Christian should embrace within their relationship with Christ and others. So take a moment and get your favorite translation of the Bible. I will use the New International Version, it is a less formal translation and personally I believe it speaks clearly to our society. “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person— such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.” (Ephesians 1-7) I want us to focus on the work “love” that is portrayed for God and man in this verse.

Love in the Greek has many meanings but we shall only unpack two; “Eros and Agape.”

First Eros is a conditional type of love. It is where we get our English word, “Erotica.” Now as soon as you heard that word, I am sure you, like I, thought of “sex” but, Eros was more than that to the Greeks. First, it was a conditional love. I love green beans for dinner but I do not love green bean pancakes for breakfast. There are conditions that I personally place on this kind of love. Eros was selfish “for me” kind of love. I love G. Harvey art work, it gives me great pleasure. I love classical music when I meditate and the list goes on. Eros is temporary, it does not last. I love green beans but now I prefer early peas, (they mix well with corn). Finally, I can’t mention “Eros” without the sex word.

When 5,000 teenagers were surveyed and asked, “What type of love that best represents their school, community and even church, their answer 100 percent was “Eros” (Dr. Chap Clark, Teens and Sex 2012). So we are a society that thrives on “selfish, me first, please me in our relationships and my love is dependent on what you do for me.”

But, how do we break the cycle? In this type of article at this point the author should provide an educated, theological answer, but I do not have the answer.

But our God does.

Take a moment and look at the magazines where demographics are targeted to reach adolescent females 16 to 25 years old. You will find picture of air brushed females that are the images that our young ladies use as models; and articles on “How to get more out of romance.” “Eros” is all about getting what pleasures we can for self, at that moment we desire it is temporary. In contrast, “Agape” love is a giving love, the kind of love for a person, based on a choice by us to care, it is unconditional, and it expects nothing in return. “Agape” love is a lasting love that endures all things. The Apostle Paul penned the words which has become known as the “love chapter.” “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NIV). “Agape” love is a committed, lasting love in a relationship that both people share without expecting love in return, but if both man and wife have this love for each other they are empowered sexually, emotionally and spirituality. They are one.

I suggest an exercise with your spouse or significant other.

Ask them, “Why do you say, I love you?” Do not interrupt and listen.

Then you share why you say “I love you,” and finally together read aloud, 1 Thessalonians (4:3-8 NIV) and discuss how your relationship compares.